Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
