i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
