I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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