the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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