Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
