don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
