I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
