Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
