I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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