If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
