Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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