I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
