jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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