Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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