i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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