It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
