oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
