Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you had me at cake vodka
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So vagazzling was a success
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
