I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
