how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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