Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
