I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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