this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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