then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
