it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
