Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
