my mouth tastes like poor choices
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
