Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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