Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
