franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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