She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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