We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
