I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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