A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
