I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
