so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize