i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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