we're blogging at a bar
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize