Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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