Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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