Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
