the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
