i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize