I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
