You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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