If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
