Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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