I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
