My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
