Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
