Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
