You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
