did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
