you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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