There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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