Kiss
Puke
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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