I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
