Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
