lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
