If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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